Alucard Stories

COMING SOON.

2009-09-20T19:26:00.001-07:00

Watch out for newer updates.

Mirror

2008-11-20T06:34:00.000-08:00

MIRR0R
By: Jesus Daniel Paras

What then is a mirror
when it's cold and broken?
What then is its image
when all of it has changed?

What then is a mirror
when it has lost its tone?
Nothing less but a misty shadow
Just a reflection, so alone..

What then is a mirror
when I can no longer see
The moon, the sun, the stars, the clouds
the "me" who I used to be?

What then is a mirror
when she forced to change its curve
sculpting her subject with a chisel
to get what she "deserves".

What then is a mirror?
But an oracle of remorse
The image she commanded to show
is so distorted from the source.

Formula of Envy

2008-06-03T06:23:00.000-07:00

FORMULA OF ENVY

By: Jesus Daniel R. Paras

Again, I opened his profile.
I can't help
but clenched my fist in anger:

He didn't take my dream away from me
He didn't steal the light
He didn't ask for it
He didn't pray for its grant
He is just himself...
He just has it all...

He is all
That I'm not.

I, Again opened my profile.
Relentlessly... watching
Relentlessly... comparing
Relentlessly... hoping
Relentlessly... wishing
Relentlessly... yearning

Need not to worry?
Need not to despise?
Need not to compare?
Need not to be jealous?
Need not to envy?

What I have, he's surpassed
What I own, he's ignored
What I am, he's got to be more
What I am, is no less
...rotting on the floor

It's just formulated
where envy is the sum
and inequalities are the factors
while equity is none.

The Last Recipe

2008-01-29T07:18:00.000-08:00

THE LAST RECIPE

Ingredients:

Appearance: 1kg.
Confidence: 5tbs.
Physique: 1000ml.
Lies: 50g.
Appeal: 400tbs.
Image: 12g.
Talent: 500tbs.
Time: 700g.
Patience 20tbs.
---------------------------------------
PERFECT RECIPE: HIS DREAM GUY

P.S.

I went to the grocery and even search every edges of that earth. I searched in the light and in the darkness; desperately asked directions! I cannot find the following enough ingredients, even with their alternatives:

No appearance enough to reach 1 kg.
No physique to meet the volume even halfway.
Not even a single spoonful of appeal to simmer it all well.

Nevertheless, I went to the kitchen and worked with the remaining ingredients. I didn’t manage to follow the recipe and ended up noticing that even the 5tbs. of confidence is now missing. All that is left in the bowl are lies, image, and patience…

Bon Appetit!

The meal ended up rejected.

Confessions of Another College No One

2008-01-02T04:21:00.000-08:00

Confessions of Another College No One

By: Jesus Daniel R. Paras

I was walking down the 3rd floor PL Building staircase when I saw my schoolmates chitchatting, staying and sitting/standing on the 2nd floor. They were in their own businesses and conversations. Then a hand tapped on my shoulder from behind. It was my classmate greeting me a pleasant break time.

As I walked down a single step on the stair, the crowd suddenly looked at me while other women began to whisper and blush. I shook my legs, signaling them to move but I remained peculiarly stiff. They’re looking at me?

Their eyes suddenly moved away as a guy behind me walked down the stairs. It was him.

His looks, physique and appeal mold his college reputation of being the campus heartthrob. When everything is almost about him, this time, it is not; it’s now about me.

With my average height, dull flawed complexion and prosaic unappealing face, I’m just a no one looking up on that someone.

Years have passed when my ex-girlfriend broke up with me for another handsome great guy.

I admit, the day I learned discernment, that I’m ugly; regret and frustration has engulfed my system since that. The time when he went down that staircase, I can feel the invisibility of myself, being overshadowing by his shining light.

For seven months, when I get to have the chance to see him in college, I would observe, absorb and imitate the way he does his self: attitude, gesture and even clothing.

When I reach home, I would lock my room and face the mirror to try those things myself.

Pathetic!

I bought the same clothes; nevertheless it looked ugly on me
But he did look so good on it.

I did the same hairstyle; nevertheless it looked stupid on me
But he did look so appealing with it.

I tried the same gestures; nevertheless it looked hideous with me
But he did look so cool with it.

No one knows it but I want to be like him! I wanted to feel how it is to be appreciated, recognized, liked and even loved.

Then again, I rinsed my hair and changed back my clothes. As I unlock my room, I glanced back at my mirror but refused to look at my reflection. I can’t stand to see my pathetic self in the mirror. Even though I see my classmates and friends in the mirror as they comfort me with compliments on how great I am as a student, as their friend and as their classmate, I can only see on dominating image, blurring away all of its background: My appearance.

As I tucked in my polo shirt and wore my glasses, I repeatedly say to myself, “Please do not envy. Please do not feel bad. Please do not envy.”

I walked out of my room and kissed my parents goodbye. I will not be envious, I will not feel bad and I will not be envious. Then again, as I see him enter the college gates, crystals began to form in my eyes and wet my glasses blur.

I will not envy.
I will not feel bad.
I will not envy.

From standing on the 4th step of the stair, I remained still until he went down. As I move across the hall, I can hear voices of compliments, praises and infatuating words from people who admire him.

I ran to the bathroom and locked in the cubicle.

How can I not envy?
How can I not feel bad?
How can I not envy?

I opened the door and step in front of the mirror.
I looked at myself.

There is no “me” anymore.

Spectator's Wish

2007-12-29T10:41:00.000-08:00

Spectator’s WiSH

by: Jesus Daniel R. Paras

I sat here amidst the crowd
As I watch him bring forth fame
Flickering lights and dazzling stage
His life burns in flame

His smile that stammers girls
And looks that mesmerize
His act of damn perfection
Always fitting in that size

He wears that suit of mystique
And spells his life all through
Money, fame and fortune
Colors there ‘cept blue

Envy is my sin
Of spectator’s wishful wail
I want to stand from my seat
And following his only trail

But there’s nothing in stored for me
And nothing there will be
I’ll be just his spectator
So limited, so unfree

I cannot be like him
Who is dazzling and so great!
I’m not opaque in their glance
In my prosaic worthless fate

The world I always envy
Of every great success
An ugly person like me attests
Dreams I can’t caress.

Cassette Tape

2007-08-25T22:32:00.000-07:00

Cassette Tape
By: Jesus Daniel Paras

SIDE A

Finally, what a relief to Eva that was. The midterm’s examination week is over. She can now take a relief from the exhausting endeavors she has dealt just to cope up the weeks that she had not been studying. Eva has just recovered from the pain she’d been secretly crumpling inside her heart.

She’s going to graduate with flying colors.

Eva, then walks by the university library; whenever she passes by the staircase, Eva would stop a while staring at the varsity heartthrob. Well, everybody loves Brandon. He has it all: the looks, the stance, the intelligence, and the athletic skills and talents. He can even sing, dance and act. He’s her perfect dream boy.

Everyday, Eva would always find ways just to see her crush to complete her college days. After few glances she had made, she continued to the library to finish her friend’s pending research that she promised to make.

She would always remember that she was also popular, pretty, loved by everybody and studious in her batch. In fact, she became the 2nd Runner-up in the Campus Crush Search last year.

Eva just didn’t see it coming, her sweetest downfall. To what she is now is very different from what she was before. She really was a wonderful student until the point of time when Eva’s boyfriend, whom she had loved so much, was discovered to be flirting with a student from another prestigious university. Eva confronted him. Her boyfriend stressed out his points and reasons, putting the blame to her for “having a bored” and cold approach” in their relationship, according to the guy.

Eva begged to save the relationship but her boyfriend did turn out stoned. She then, begged to do anything just to please him and fix the dying affair. Her boyfriend asked her to make out with him.

A week after that, it all turned upside down. The approach of the people, the stingy glare by her batch mates, the sarcastic gestures and the painful grin of her friends emerged. She never knew what had happened. Then a friend of hers showed her a video clip that was passed on through her friend’s cellular phone.

Alas, her sweetest downfall!

As she registers her I.D. in the library computer, people looked at her then ignored her afterwards. She had now let her hair cover most of her face ever since that day. She continued walking through the shelves, looking for that novel she needs to finish for her friend. She had difficulties looking for the novel, “The Hollow Tree” and as she was scanning for the books’ call numbers, Eva was lured by a novel covered black, entitled “Taking the Pain of Solitude & Memories”.

She started reading the first parts. While flipping the leaf to the next page, she found a slip of note that rested between the sheets of paper. It says, “Can you take my pain away?” Then she looked at the library if someone was fooling around with her.

Eva replied to the note and continued scanning for her friend’s novel.

The next day, she went back to the library to confirm the note for a reply. Eva didn’t even know what made her go back for the book. Her apt decision gave herself a simple smile because another note was there in the novel.

“Hi, I am Jay. Nice to meet you.”

There little friendship of passing notes continued for the whole semester until it came a time when Eva’s heart began to beat slowly again. They decided to meet personally.

“What if you won’t like me for who I am?”
“It doesn’t matter. I will always like you Eva.”
“Is it alright even though my real name isn’t Eva?”
“Why isn’t it your real name?”
“I denied myself after an incident, shattering me to pieces; hope you understand”
“I see. It’s okay. It doesn’t matter to me or even bother me.”
“You’re so kind! Okay! So when and where will we meet?”
“We’ll meet here, tomorrow, lunch time.”
“Okay…”

The next day, after the bell had rung, Eva rushed through the hall and went in to the library. When she reached the door, she stopped for a while and gasped for some air. She slowly went in and has her I.D. registered in the computer and continued walking to their rendezvous. There she saw from a far, Jay, opening the same novel.

Eva then approached him, and tapped his shoulder once. He looked back and their eyes finally met.

“You’re… You’re Brandon Jay Rodriguez!”
“Yes, I am and I believe you are…”
“I am Eva! Nice to meet you.”
“I really liked you. Finally we met!”
“Yes, finally we met. I really am not expecting this to happen, but ever since I moved to this university just this semester, I can’t help to notice you as you walk everyday through the library. While I was playing basketball, I can see you sometimes looking at me, which made me to become more motivated in my games.”

“Oh…my, I just can’t believe it.”
“Eva, uhmm… Do you want to have lunch with me together?”
“Sure!”

She had changed after that. She fixed her hair, changed her attire, accepted herself again and let go of the past. She burned all the notes and pictures she had had before. She even locked her SIM in her memoir box to let go of the people who had hurt her. She was going to graduate with flying colors after all. She is reborn.

After three months…

Eva, along with her friends, was looking for a pair of new shoes for the graduation day.

Suddenly, after she went home, she cleaned her room and there she saw her memoir box. She decided to open it and choose the memorable things that she will continue to cherish and throw away those that are significant to her no more. She found her old SIM card. She inserted it in her phone and it surprisingly rang and the screen showed an unregistered number:

+637874337621 Calling…

She was hesitant to answer at first. She kept on recalling the owner of the contact. She tried to recall from her past, her painful past. At first, she thought it was her ex-boyfriend, but she doesn’t recognize the combination of the numbers similarly to his ex.
Finally, she remembered! That was Brandon’s number before, while they were still passing notes in the library. She remembered they gave their numbers to each others, so that, one shall text the other whenever he/she fails to reply to the note.

“That is why I barely remember the number. I almost forgot because I encouraged Jay to dwell more in the note passing because I find it more romantic and sweeter.” She uttered to herself.

After the long ring waiting to be answered, she pushed the button and talked to him.

“Jay, how are you? What a coincidence that you called, I just had this SIM card in. I was going to throw this SIM. Hello? Jay? Are you there? Hello… Can’t believe we still have our numbers. I’ll call you when the signal’s better... I Love You.”

CALL ENDED.

Then she received a text message from Jay.

“I love you so much Eva. I will do everything just to make you happy. I love you. I thank the day you read my note. I cherished the time we met personally and had lunch the first time together. I LOVE YOU and thank you for loving me also”
Sender:
+637874337621

Eva was popular and loved by everyone. She met her downfall from her past but she continued walking in life. Love has found her as she never looked for it. She just waited and by the time she least expects it; it came knocking at her door. The one she secretly liked loves him after all. By the sweetest memory from pain and torment, she now knows that there is no turning back. There aren’t any holds anymore. This is her love story. This is her happy ending. This is her now.

Cassette Tape
By: Jesus Daniel Paras

SIDE B

Lisa rushed to the hospital after she had the call from her friends. She rushed through the Information Area, confirming the status of Dee. She took the stairs and ran straight to room 375.

There she saw Dee, bedridden. Dee gave her a faint smile as she stood there by the door. She went in smiled at Dee sweetly. Dee smiled her back and then Lisa slapped him strongly.

“How dare you do that to yourself? How stupid of you! Have you no love for your own being? Do you even care what we would feel if you had successfully slit your wrist and bleed to death?”

Dee remained silent. He gave Lisa a sweet smile as if nothing has happened. “Thank you for the concern Lisa. I am okay now.”

“You are not okay! Why do you linger on the mistakes that you have done before! If you did die, will she know? Will the world spin backwards? No, it will just become an action to waste. You are hurt, she doesn’t even know!”

Lisa, I still remember four months ago, you were that bigger sister that I never had. You would always take care of me. Love me despite of the odds and lapses that I have. I really appreciate that. It is just that you will never understand the pain I am having.

“I don’t understand? Fuck you! I am not numb. Every pain you have felt is doubled…tripled… even quadrupled when it reflects my system. You may not have spoken all your problems but I feel it. I knew there is something killing you inside. But why did you give up on yourself? I didn’t even give up on you!”

“It’s okay Lisa. I’m done now. I am now contented to what had happened just this evening. By the way, our togas are ready for tomorrow’s graduation, aren’t they?”

“Yes, everything is all set but you will be subject to administration’s students’ concern board observation for the thing that you have just done. Dee, look we are here with you. Please look at this side of the scenario. Don’t ever think that no one loves you because it just hurts me. I feel like I’m not of worth to you for all the memories we had had on our younger years.”

“You know what? She told me she loved me. Elaine told me hours ago. It’s all worth the pain after all. I can now rest. I am tired. My heart is tainted with pain already. I can now rest.”

“I just still do not know what have seen in that girl when in fact she’s already taken. Her heart is locked so why do you keep on knocking. You will just end up frustrated, in pain and stupid.”

“You talk as if you did not know the whole story Lisa. Ever since before, I loved Elaine Valerie. Not because she was also popular, pretty, loved by everybody and studious in our batch, I just love her because she is Elaine. The incident that had happened to her, that almost shattered her college life, did not turn me off. I don’t care at all. That is how I love her Lisa.

Because she had been on her height when she fell down so painfully, I got hurt more than the folds that she did. I want to comfort her; I want to hug her so that the pain will go away. I want to tell her that she is never alone even in that darkest time.

The pain inside me cannot be contained anymore, and you knew that Lisa. I confined to you almost everything. Because of that, I went in the library one day and wrote a note in one of my favorite novels. I wrote a note saying, “Can you take my pain away?” I placed it in between the sheets of a novel covered black and left. As my brain was thinking, I didn’t manage to be aware in my surroundings so I bumped Elaine while I was walking absent-mindedly towards the exit. I apologized and I helped her get the books she had dropped. Even though she was so silent, I broke the quiescence and initiated a question.

‘Miss, I’m so sorry. May I help you in finding a book that you are interested in?’
‘I need to find a novel entitled The Hollow Tree.’
‘Ah, hehe. Honestly I haven’t heard of the novel. Sorry I’m of no help to you. But the computer database may help you. I got to go. I’m sorry again.’

I ran outside the library. She talked to me that very instance. Even though she’s not the popular girl I knew. Her voice was solemnly angelic to me. I went back to the basketball practice. There I saw Brandon drinking from the water fountain. He was my roommate. We did have the same crush, Elaine Valerie. I tapped his shoulder goodbye and I left to university and went home.

The next day, I saw Elaine writing a note in the one of my favorite novels. Of all the people who could read and reply to my note, it was her! There we had our friendship. She really didn’t know it was me. I kept my anonymity and used the name Jay as my pseudonym. Her name was Eva. That was how she saw herself that time because of the self-denial she had had after the incident.

We communicated. We cherished the memories through the exchanging of notes until one day she decided the two of us to meet. I really do not want her to be disappointed to the person that she will be meeting because I am really of no significance to her. All that time, I was contented to the status quo we had.

But she really wanted for the two of us to meet. I bluffed and said okay. After lying confidently, I came to a plan that I would just stop writing her notes and stop texting her from the number she had given me.

The next day, I never came to our rendezvous. I did not know if she really did wait for nothing for a long period of time. I never went back to the library and I looked for means to evade thinking of her or even seeing her in the campus.

One night, while I was studying in my room, Brandon went inside and asked me to go down the lobby. He said he wants me to meet his girlfriend. I was very excited that time. When I run down the stairs childishly, all my vigor suddenly ran out and my smile turned to a flat grin. I saw her, Elaine, being the girlfriend of Brandon.

‘This is my girlfriend, Dee. Elaine this is my bestest roommate friend, Dee’
‘Nice to meet you Dee.’
‘Nice to meet you two Ev—Elaine I mean.’
‘So where did you two guys meet?’
‘Actually Dee, I was reading a novel entitled, Taking the Pain of Solitude & Memories, blah-blah-blah she was there also in the library t’was a long story and there. We’ve became lovers.’

Lisa, do you know how painful it is to pretend to the two that I am actually in pain? Do you know how hard it is to pretend that you do not feel any love for a person wherein in really all you want to do is to love her forever?”

“But Dee, We are here... You have a wonderful life. Do not waste it just for a girl?”

“I called her after that night she was introduced to me by Brandon. The number was then not in use. I messaged her many notes in that novel, but not one replied. I tried calling her every day, expecting that dead contact number would exist just even for once. I called her everyday for three months. I called her 92 times for 92 nights.

I never wanted to introduce that I am the real Jay. All I wanted is to hear her voice, talking to me as Jay for the last time. Then I will be satisfied. Lisa, for three months I called her. I will just be forgotten. All the love I showed her is recognized as Brandon’s.

Last night, I painfully cried for after desperately three months, the phone never rang. The notes never had a single reply. Brandon told me he will give her an engagement vow right after graduation.

I got a blade and the cut was painless compared to the ones I have had. I began to fall down on the floor. As I was beginning to become unconscious, I dialed her number once last time and it rang. It rang and it rang. Then a voice emerged after the long ringing.

The voice uttered, “Jay, how are you? What a coincidence that you called, I just had this SIM card in. I was going to throw this SIM. Hello? Jay? Are you there? Hello… Can’t believe we still have our numbers. I’ll call you when the signal’s better... I Love You.”
As I close my eyes, I felt the sweetest love. I smiled as I solemnly sleep for in my death I will always be Jay, the guy Eva/Elaine had loved beneath the sheets of notes in that library. After all, she really did love Jay. She really did love me. It is all enough. We will always be together in my long sleep, but then again, I woke up Lisa, I woke up.”

Hollow Tree

2007-07-19T03:04:00.000-07:00

The Hollow Tree
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

A giant tree with mossy old trunk and waving branches had always been visible in the middle of a meadow, separating the two towns of Eau-de-nil, the towns of Jessamy and Jacinthe.

A messenger, from the town of Jessamy, always delivers scrolls and potions to the apothecary of the opposite town everyday. Russet, every after his delivery, would stop by the giant tree in between the two towns, and rest for a while and savor the shade and meadow breeze. Russet was a disliked person in Jessamy, he is often insulted and criticized because of his appearance. Life was bitter for him, having an outer shell of imperfections. No one would dare to look at him in Jessamy, and in Jacinthe, he is considered as a stranger--ignored and invisible.

One day, because of Russet's depression and solitude, he got one scroll from his sling bag and wrote a letter that reads, "I am alone in this meadow; will you be my company?" After writing the note, he slipped it inside a hole in the very trunk of the giant tree. After which, he left.

The next day, Russet checked the trunk and it simply showed an unfolded slip of paper inside it. The paper had a reply, "You're lonely like the tree... You could be my friend." That was the start of a blind friendship.

The woman, replying to Russet's scrolls everyday, is said to be Selene, the name of the Greek goddess of the moon. She stated in the scroll that she lives in Jacinthe and Selene is not her real name. Russet and Selene, having been blind friends would never find the perfect time to meet for one simple reason: Russet passes by the giant tree at dawn while Selene reads his reply at dusk.

They fell in love with each other even in the form of scroll conversations. Russet invested so much love and trust to Selene, even though he does not know her real name and her very identity.

They became utmost blind lovers. One night, Russet and Selene made a promise, by means of etching their names, inside a heart in the bark of the tree. They promised to wait for the reply of the other no matter how long it would take. That very promise, for them, resembles their risking trust.

There came a time when Selene asked about his appearance, his occupation and his life. Russet was hesitant to reply, but in spite of which, he honestly confessed that he is a low-class deliverer of scrolls and potions. He didn't mention his appearance and jokingly wrote in the piece of paper, "soon you will know, as for now, it's a secret!".

Selene became so curious and eager to see what Russet really looked like, so secretly she made a pre-made reply and ordered a friend to slip the note in the giant tree at the middle of the meadows. She, for one day, changed her schedule and waited for the dawn to come. She waits for the very first person to stop by the only tree in the middle of the fields. There she began presuming in excitement the physique and appearance of her mystery lover would look like. She began to expect a handsome and gallant man. There she hides behind the grassy and covering lea as she waits for him to come.

There he is!

A man wearing a cap and carrying scrolls and potions began to reach in the trunk hole and opened Selene's reply. As Russet began to read her paper, he removed his cap.

She was shocked in disappointment on what she just saw.

As she quietly and secretly tried to leave, a stone made her stumble and she created a noise. Russet knew someone was there, when he tried to look out for anyone in the meadows, all he caught was moving grasses, whispering him that someone had been observing him for the past few minutes.

Russet ignored the peculiarity of it and continued reading. After reading, he replied in a scented scroll and along with the reply is a necklace having a diamond formed like a leaf. He left a note that says,

"Selene I really love you, but to tell you honestly, I am less of the man you might be expecting of. I am not near to what a woman like you would presume I would look like. Nevertheless, I am still here. You are the only one who accepts me. Please, take this a little gift of mine; it is a leaf-shaped diamond necklace because this giant tree is the only moment I get to steal a little happiness amidst my painful life. I'll be waiting for your reply, and I can't wait to read it the tomorrow dawn. I love you Selene."

The next dawn, Russet reached in the hole, there he felt the same scroll and the necklace is still there. No reply is found at all. He waited for another dawn, expecting a number of scrolls would stack the hole, having the reply of his last message and the explanation of her failure to go to the giant tree. Still there is none. He waited. He waited and he waited but Selene seemed not to exist now. He went to Jacinthe and asked the people for her whereabouts, but no one knew a woman under the nickname of Selene.

"It seems that she already saw me, and she did presume the person I am not. I am this and I can never have the chance to change what I am; what I look like. Nevertheless, I made our promise that one will always wait for the other's reply no matter how long it would take..."

The man who delivers scrolls and potions to the apothecary in the town of Jacinthe waited under the giant tree every dawn. Everyday for 143 days he waited, expecting the hollow tree would bear one single reply or the tree itself would swallow the necklace, even just to make him believe that Selene got the lace, but, the giant tree remained hollow, and the necklace remained intact. His heart slowly and painfully went tired of loving and holding on to someone who was never his.

He would still pass by the same route when transversing from Jessamy to Jacinthe, but he had stopped stopping at the center of the meadow where the giant tree has stood. He would just continue walking, making his daily deliveries to the apothecary because he painfully realized that to him, a person like him can never smile, can never feel and can never love.

THE END

2007-07-09T05:04:00.000-07:00

1000

By: Jesus Daniel Paras

Once there was a mannequin that was displayed ever since the opening day of a boutique shop somewhere in 17th Avenue. It was lifeless externally. It can't move, can't talk, but is subconsciously present. Everyday, the owner, who is a beautiful Barbie-like lady, Truth, arranges and dresses him up for the day's fashion trend. The mannequin, who is being displayed in the glass gallery to attract costumers, while being taken cared of Truth, is listening to her while she talks. Truth is really fond of talking to the mannequin while she fixes him up,as if the mannequin was alive and can hear everything she says. When the boutique is about to close, Truth's exhausting face is relinquished every afternoon because her boyfriend always would come by and help her close the store. They both lock the shop and leave. That is almost the exact romantic setup everyday.

One day, the mannequin was listening to Truth, "You know, my grandmother used to tell me different kinds of story. Before she died, she told me an impossible one! Do you want to hear it?" The mannequin wanted to nod, but he can't; yet she continued while she was dressing him up with a new trend of shirt. "Whenever you want to have something, like a wish to come true, my grandmother said that you need to wish for it in every falling star that you will see at night for a thousand times. Yep, that is quite an effort having you to wait and wish the same wish over and over again for a thousand times. Well, that's that, you're fixed and ready to lure my costumers. I will go to the storage room and recount yesterday's inventory, OK?"

By that moment, as she steps down the boutique gallery podium, the mannequin was inspired. He believed the very substance she just told him. For every afternoon, he would see the same scenario: Truth, being happy with her boyfriend. Silently, he would internally cry for he can't be with someone whom he had fallen in love with. He knew that he's different from her. He knew he'll never be with him, in his waxen lifeless figure.

Nevertheless, the mannequin was inspired and he told himself, "I'll make that wish and I'll be human for me to be able to love Truth, and for her to love or even just appreciate me in return, even if it is just for a night."

So every night, he would carefully and thoroughly stare at the dark misty sky. For every night, he would manage to catch one falling star by his plastic eyes, and for every shooting star he would find, he would wish the same wish. He wished for it a thousand times for a thousand lonely nights.

Then the 1,001st day has come, and the mannequin was awakened by the sound of jingling keys being shaken for a couple of times by the shop's doorknob. He tried to move his limbs, shake his arms and open his lips. But he remained still. He can't move. He remained as a mannequin. As the door began to open, there he saw Truth, so happy as she jumps in the counter and got the new pair of shirt from her personnel's closet. She hums, and she hums as the mannequin quietly shouts in pain. She began to do her daily thing.

"Hello, how's your day! You know what? I have to show you something? You see this? It's so nice isn't it? It's an engagement ring! We're getting married. He proposed to me last night in a fancy restaurant. I'm so happy, and I just couldn't say 'no'. I love him so much, and there's no reason for me to reject him."

She paused for a while, and continued talking.

"Remember the thing I told you before, about the 1000 wishes. To tell you honestly, I don't believe in such story because, I didn't wish for him to come into my life. I never did make a wish, even in one shooting star..." She chuckles and continues, "--who would even believe in such impossible story? Daniel, my only mannequin Daniel, if you were alive and would believe in that story..."

"I Wonder what you would wish for, for a thousand times, in a thousand falling stars?"

THE END

But What?

2007-06-22T14:32:00.000-07:00

But What?
Jesus Daniel Paras

If I look at them
and see through their eyes
If I feel their soul
and watch them fly

If I stand before them
and make a sound
If I try to catch them
and leap the ground

I ask myself:

What are they,
and why so different
they are to me?

They have it all I've ask for
They own all I yearned for

But what?

what I lack, in them I see
what I'm not, in them they'll be
what I'm chained of,in them they're free
what I'm made of... is down to my identity:
AN EVER WORTHLESS "ME"

The Joker Card

2007-05-29T04:56:00.000-07:00

___The Joker Card___
A Fictional Short Story
Jesus Daniel Paras

It's been five months since we had last spoken to each other, and I can still remember the tears running down her icy cheeks that night.

I casted her away -- a move I knew I would regret.

I clenched my fists and covered my painful face with pretentious anger as I grabbed her arm and drove it away from her final solemn hug.

And yes, I said it... the words so cold yet so burning to her eyes.

I DON'T LOVE YOU!

I thought I never get to reminisce the very scene at the subway that night, however, it's like a bullet that struck right to my head when I saw her blogsite while searching for some old friends over the internet. There I saw her blog, lay-outed with a gloomy black but with pink streak designs with overexposed title that spelled LOVE|AT|SUBWAY32.

With eyes popping with amazement and surprise, I started reading the entries, lured with the title for knowing that the content, or rather the blog itself is about her feelings about me and our events or even later events that had happened.

I admitted to myself that I love her, but I just have to lie to her the truth because I don't want her to end up being hurt. I never received love so I am afraid that I might expressed it wrongly. She's just too fragile for me, and too miserable that I don't want to add to her load.

There, while sipping a cup of hot coffee in my room, I sat alone by the computer, and I began scrolling down the entries:

Blog Entry 1-January 03,1998: The Spade of Ace

This will be my abode, my sanctuary, and my silent temple for loving you. I have been rejected that night at the subway. I knew you don't love me, but It won't hinder me from loving. I love you! Even if my only heart is now blackened like a spade of Ace. You didn't know how much you gave warmth to my heart that night.

I did somehow like the parting Christmas gift you gave me; it somehow, proved me that love is waiting. Well, Happy New Year!

I wanted to crush the cup I was holding because of the pain we both inflicted to ourselves. I wanted to e-mail her that very moment, but I realized I didn't know what happen to her for the past five months. So in pain, I went on reading her second post:

Blog Entry 2-February 03, 1998: The Seven Hearts

It's almost seven seven weeks since the night of at the Subway 32. Whenever I walk there when I go home, I remember the two couples, rather two friends standing, as the woman in front of the guy he loves, is rejected like rejected by a thousand friends. Well, it's quite a bit hyperbolic. But I would like to tell you, I'm not angry to the events that occurred, I am rather happy because I'm happy of loving you now.

Blog Entry 3-March 03, 1998: The Diamond Cards

Graduation it is, I saw him parting his way as the glittery diamond-like confetti rained down our heads; I guess we will never be seeing each other again. But I am happy for the life he will take in the future. Right now, I'm still loving and I know that I am being loved in returned. We love each other.

I have read enough. This is my go signal. All this time, I didn't know how to talk to her for I don't know how to. Now, I just knew she still loves me even though I banished her from my sight. She still feels the same, and patiently waits for me to come back for her even without an idea to how long she will wait. I love her, and so does she!

I looked up my cellphone, looked for her name, and called her. After few rings, I heard her angelic and longing voice.

"Hey, uhmm... It's been a long time. How are you Pandora?"
"I'm... never been glad, what made you call this late at night?"
"Can we meet? tomorrow, at the subway. What's your free time?"
"I don't know... 3:00pm, but can I bring with me--"
"...Okay 3:00pm it is, Bye!! See you there!"

I did some paper work, before I went to bed.

The Next Day

As I walk down the subway, I can see the clouds beginning to darken, and they began to flash some lights. They cry so quitely, then they cry with might.

I can see Pandora from a far. She sat there at the same seat, where she sat that very night, but someone is sitting beside her, and they seem to be so happy together. Then suddenly, my anger and jealously rose when they were like two children laughing & whispering to each other. And the guy stole her a kiss!

I ran towards them and I burst out in pain, "I thought you loved me! All these time you made the world believe you still fell in love with me! What a hypocrite and liar you are! You still have the guts reading what you have posted in your blog, here, (as I threw her the printed blog entries in anger) to remind you of the entries you post."

"Lester, I tried to tell you about my bringing my boyfriend along today, but you hang up the phone immediately last night. So, this...(as she took a glance at the printed blog entries I threw to her) is what you were looking forward to meet me."

"Yes! and you said you loved me, now I see you with this guy!"

The man whom I despised that day almost attacked me in anger, but Pandora stopped him, and asked him a time with us two only.

"Look! Lester, about the blog I had been posting for five months, along with the post entries in it are all true! I didn't lie. It was you who misunderstood. Have you finished reading the entries? Answer me!"

I was silent that time, for I knew I leap too early, and I knew I covered half of her story yet. I could not even bare looking straight to her painful eyes.

"In the my first entry, The Spade of Ace, the guy I refer to that night at the subway was not you. it was Craig, after you left me shattered into pieces, and after you left me alone in the subway, there he came in and wipe my frozen tears away. He let me feel the things I never felt and he let me feel the warmth I expected to feel from you.

Craig was courting me, you knew that Lester, you knew that since we were juniors. The second entry, The Seven Hearts, the entry seven weeks after you left me, it was also seven weeks later when I realized that I have already learned to love the person who loved me that night. It wasn't about you, the blog was not about me waiting for you Lester, why would I wait someone whom I knew I would waste my heart into pieces? Why would I hope for nothing for someone who rejected me that moment? Why would I expect on someone to make me smile, and let me feel love to a person who has made my eyes swollen crying, and my pillows wet at night?

On graduation day, I was happy you were going your own way. And I knew that time, I was happy because me and Craig has loved each other. Craig was the only guy I talked about in my blog. Not you!

Just... just leave Lester, you have inflicted too much pain now, I loved you before. But that was before. Because Lester, (as she took one heavy breath, and wiped her teary eyes), once upon a time, all my love is shattered along with my only heart you once broke."

There, I first felt humiliation no man can ever imagine engulfing. They held hands, as Craig tried to wipe off her tear. He kissed her cheek and hugged her was they entered the train. I stood there as I saw the mobile transit closes its door, as Pandora gave her last disappointing, and feint glance.

I slowly walked home, as the strong rain soaks my body along with the events that had occurred, that is still stabbing my heart.

It's just that, I never even had the chance to spoke a word, or an apology rather for the stupid presumption I made. I never even had the chance to tell her that I lied that night. I never even had the chance to tell her that I really love her, and how stupid I was to hide what I feel. I never even had the chance to kiss her goodbye, nor to hold her hand.

I got the paper from my pocket, and I read the remaining to post entries from her blog, as the rain begins to slowly drain the letters of a hallucinating assumption.

Blog Entry 4-April 03, 1998: The 4-Leaf Club

God really did have a plan for me after all. He gave me a lucky 4-leaf clover, and he is none other than Craig. Lester left me, and I cried for the pain, for the love and for the boy. Then again, He gave me Craig who I can cherish forever.

Blog Entry 5-May 03,1998: The Joker Card

Love is not to be bounded with expectation. Unpredictable--that's what makes it magical, mystical and even painful. For others expect there will be someone waiting for them. Others expect idealistic happy endings to their fairy tales, while some just expect of never ending love amidst the pain they have caused.

But reality is not as expected as it is. It's just part of human function to react on what others inflict you. One breaks a heart, It shatters. One nourishes it, love is sowed in return. If someone has left you for a time being, that someone must better not expect that when he goes back to you, you are still there waiting for him/her because It is a living and moving entity whom he has left--NOT A LANDMARK that is always there.

Even in the most foolish and shallow expectations we create, we receive the deepest and excruciating cuts, that would leave a scar of never ending gloom.

♣..End..♣

The Star and the Boy

2007-05-27T06:04:00.000-07:00

The Star and the Boy
Jesus Daniel Paras

Star: Seems like I can only look from a far, shining for you.
Boy: She is the only one I see, but I'm afraid our eyes may meet.

Star: Does he even notice me amidst this dark stellar night?
Boy: Does she know she's the only one in my sight?

Star: I feel helpless; I want to reach out to him, but he's so far away.
Boy: I want to hold and talk to her but, I don't know what to say.

Star: I don't care if you're this low.
Boy: I do care if nothing I can show.

Star: I know he's looking, but I don't want to speak.
Boy: I hope she doesn't notice, or blush will my cheek.

Star: I'm waiting for you, but what is your cue?
Boy: I don't want to touch you, or else the pain will be true.

Star: I love you so much, but do you even have a clue?
Boy: I love you, but the pain of unrequited love just won't do.

Star: Please, I'm beginning to fade.
Boy: She doesn't love me. See? she's blackening as shade.

Star: I've grown tired of shining, shining for you
Boy: If you love me, your glow will go through.

Star: I don't understand, I loved you so but, seems I've been hoping too bad.
Boy: At least, I didn't let her wait for nothing, seems she's so glad.

Star: I'm in pain inside can't you just see?
Boy: I guess, you won't be needing someone like me.

Star: Goodbye, my darling, my ever only love.
Boy: I'll clenched my fists, for your heart I can't grab.

Boy: But! maybe it's not too late, I can still tell her what I feel.
Star: My heart is now swollen, locked-cushioned with a seal.

Boy: All this time I love you! Now I hear my only plea
Star: My dear, What now is thy plea, when my heart is deaf and stone is what I see.

Boy: I love you, and I hope I'm not too soon
Star: My dear, Why now?! When the sun's banishing the moon?

This

2007-05-21T08:35:00.000-07:00

This...
Jesus Daniel Paras

My life

is drained with happiness

flooded with tears
I can't find my heart
which is blackened for years

I need you right now,
yet; no where to be found
I can't take this isolation
even silence now beckons a sound

Please, eradicate this feeling
of ever tormented pain
Keep me away from living
in this world so insane.

Play of Mockery

2006-09-24T03:51:00.000-07:00

Play of Mockery
Jesus Daniel Paras

It's morning already
I must wipe my tears
I must begin another act
Done in 4 years

It's morning already and
I'll pretend over and over
That I'm okay
That I'm not a sober

It is morning already
and I'll wear a smile all through
The pain I kept how I wish
Sweetly, pinned deeply cushioned too

Now It's afternoon
It's beginning to repel
The smile I fakely show to them
Still no one can tell...

It will be night soon
and I will be me again
I'll cry amidst this loneliness
Tranquilized and insane

It will be night soon
And there will be tomorrow
Again I'll start this act of mine
as I hide all this sorrow

Morning and Evening:
A play of sweet mockery
The happiness shown at day
How painful is its treachery.

Cardboard

2006-09-22T09:08:00.000-07:00

Cardboard
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

As the curtain closes
and the audience made their stance
I looked at them with an envious face
As I end this feeble dance

I saw only darkness
and spotlight as my light
as I searched for them in the blight
Of this evening, horrid night

Though, on stage, I'm just a passer-by
a cardboard character in short
I still long for their appreciation
An appreciation that won't distort

But as I looked at the cast
and the main characters on stage
I ask myself,
Am I just a rust in this cage?

And as I looked at the people
Whose loved ones are here to stare
Where are the ones carrying my name?
Did they see me? or are they even there?

Yes! I'm bitter, I'm jealous
and miserably envious
But will you blame me for being such
if my life is fucking dolorous

Because In this act played on stage
I'm just anyone's cardboard inside out
Unsignificant to the audience
Unappreciated without doubt

Clairvoyant

2006-09-22T09:06:00.000-07:00

Clairvoyant
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

As I looked at myself
I wish I was someone else
How fortunate others are
as luck itself, in them, dwells

As I looked at myself
I spend my life hoping I'm not me
I wish I'll wake up as Adonis
Whose face, so handsome can be

As I looked at myself
I wasted my time faking happiness
I degrade and regret
Alone in this wilderness

As I looked at myself
I pity and despise
I deny my own existence
If only the truth were the lies...

As I looked at myself
I never saw the things I possess
I never had time to appreciate it...
Even there is nothing for me to caress...

Wake Her

2006-09-06T05:15:00.000-07:00

Wake Her
Jesus Daniel Paras

I need to wake up Reality
and tell her I'm asleep.
To kiss away the pain I felt,
Plunge the truth so deep.

I need to ask reality
Why has she not shown
for all this time I'm living
in this box all alone.

I need to kiss... Kiss Reality!
and let her feel my wounds
For all the years I'm damaged
With bittersweet Harpoon.

I need to wake her up
and tell her I'm alive
I'm not a toy she can just use
From her chains I can't survive

Apple

2006-09-06T05:03:00.000-07:00

Apple
Jesus Daniel Paras

I wish I was an apple
of ever sweet delight.
With sweetened juice so tender
An attraction at first sight.

I wish I'm one among the picked
and will rest on table sheets
With fruits so sweet and yummy
that tastes go down so deep

But who am I to change my fate
If I'm an ugly purple fruit
with worms that feast on me
and skin so smooth like roots

How I wish I'm fortunate
like the ones on the tree
An apple sweet and yummy
and happiness so free

Alas...

I'll be resting here alone
with worms lurking on the ground
I'll be looking at them enviously
As I cry without a sound

Break-Up

2006-08-25T02:38:00.000-07:00

Break-Up
Jesus Daniel Paras

And as you move on,
Remember Me!
Remember us
and all we used to be

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
Now our days have been turned into dreams
Playing by memory, fading as it seems

Yet if these memories will have flown away
I'll be a night, of in a day
I'll be vision, of none
and all the stellar scene will be gone

All that we've seen or hear
if it's an abyss ever dark
it will slice the very part of me
and loosen all the spark

And if all we've seen or hear
is never in your mind
Therefore it's just a dream within a dream
Alone, Existing in my mind.

Dead Boy's Poem

2006-07-09T05:25:00.000-07:00

Dead Boy's Poem
Jesus Daniel Paras

Nobody?
This letter is for
Straight from a coffin
Made in the morning of before

I can't last a week
without someone to hold
Without someone to grasp
So, Alas, all of you behold!

Now I'm hidden neath the ashes
and swallowed in your eyes
Hello this night of brightness
In this coffin so nice

I wish I didn't feel for you
and crush all the kisses you gave
Now I'm saved by this box
that is buried in your grave

Your love you said was warm
yet you froze me with your kiss
This coffin of mine is better
Warmer as it is.

Should I be?

2006-07-06T08:46:00.000-07:00

Should I be?

Jesus Daniel Paras

Should I be just entrusted
With your ignorant delusions?
Looking at me,as a feeble mist
Dimming all your 'visions'

Should I be just insulted
With all your boorish claims?
Prejudging me in what I do
in my dreams or my aims

Should I be suddenly banished
From the world I already kissed?
From the bliss that was diminished
came a pain, a new, atleast

Should I be just buried
By your ever sweet mistakes?
and curse me like the stormy seas
Ignored me like a lake

Should I be not given justice
And deaf to all my plea?
For what is real i tried to tell
but it all must come to be.

I should just commit my death
and kiss the dying day
hope for a life so honest
like a compass giving way...

I should just commit my death
and kiss the dying day
For the night will be my new abode
How dark and painful it may...

AM I HANDSOME NOW?

2006-06-24T17:01:00.000-07:00

AM I HANDSOME NOW?
By: Jesus Daniel R. Paras

Here I come
Walking with pain
Expecting they wouldn’t see me
Under this dim rain

They gave me a deceitful smile
As I enter the door
For all the years they used me
As a laughing shit on the floor

I put my head down
And walked to a room
I looked at the mirror
And looked how I groom

I tried to smile
Beyond this ugly face
And cheer myself up
Alone in this space

Then tears ran down
My rough oily cheeks
There’s no use
I’m hideous high school freak

Ironic as it may
I love them all so true
As they make fun of my appearance
There’s nothing I can do

That is the routine
Everyday in school
I’m being insulted
By the people who rule

Then one day
I had enough
I’m fed up with all the teasing
And other boorish stuffs

I ran to the balcony
And gel’ed my hair
I broke my glasses
And my books in the air

I unbuttoned my polo shirt
Like the jocks did in school
And pierced my ear with a pen
Like the school punks who rule

I got the knife
Pointed it to my heart
I knew this would happen
From the very, very start

I stabbed my heart
And visions start to dim
No one was there
To laugh at me so mean

I left a note
At my very last bow
For all my dear schoolmates
AM I HANDSOME NOW?

Island of Poison Tears

2006-03-02T05:48:00.000-08:00

Island of Poison Tears
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

When will I be saved?
When will I be free?
inside this chained heart of mine
is pain beyond you see

When will I be extracted
The anger cushioned pin?
When will I be released
from treachery truly clean?

I can’t see the risk of gambling
Because all is see is thee.
Thou, the reason of entrapment
surrounded by molten sea.

Tell me

What's the point of living
in this island of poison tears?
As midnight shines its darkness,
And moonlight hid in fear.

I can’t escape this prison
Where magma are the walls
Where darkness is my ceiling
Where no one hears my call!

Love is...

2006-01-20T20:07:00.000-08:00

Love is...
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

Love is heaven; Love is hell
Love is a word a lover can spell
Love is visible, yet it is unseen
Love is a feeling cushioned with a pin

Love is music, yet love is mute
Love is the tone played in a flute
Love is a story a lonely one can't tell
Love is the chime of a golden wedding bell

Love is the petals; Love is the thorns
Love is to cherish, Love is to mourn
Love is the laughters, yet it is the tears
Love is temporary, Love is for years

Love gives life, Love gives death
Love rises the sun and makes it set
Love is forbidden, yet love is so free
Love is for lovers, lovers like you and me

Blade

2006-01-09T17:30:00.000-08:00

Blade

by: Jesus Daniel Paras

You are in a hospital and your girlfriend is fighting for her life.

You were beside her in her darkest hours. Then she says, "Thank you for being there always. Now I know why you save me from every suicide attempts that I made. It is for me to see how beautiful this world is." Before you could say a thing, She slowly closes her eyes, unclenches her fist and gives her one last tear. She died before you could say "I love you" to her. Then you took off the blade that was hanging on your necklace-- The blade that your girlfriend used when she tried to commit suicide. You took it off and you slit your wrist...

The nurse came in to check the patient. There she sees the girl lifeless and you beside her as you hug her-- with your wrist bled in peace...

They

2006-01-01T05:21:00.000-08:00

Poetry
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

The key of my soul
that feelings she unlock
But, mortal read between the lines
for she is thy riddle
not easily be grasped
feeling, my soul
of golden heart of rust.

each stroke of my pen
each line I write
mortal read beyond the ink
for she is thy riddle
not easily be grasped
feeling, my soul
of golden heart of rust.

enchantment of memoirs
envenoms of my pain
mortal look through thy naked eye
for she is thy riddle
not easily be grasped
feeling, my soul
of golden heart of rust.

Ingredients of myself
variety of feelings
pain and mournings
mortal read between the lines
for she is thy riddle
not easily be grasped
feeling, my soul
of golden heart of rust.

2005-12-11T12:19:00.000-08:00

Memories
by: Anonymous
[excript from: http:// forums.e-mpire.com/archive/index.php]

If theres no point to living then don't waste your time.
Just pull the trigger, it's gonna be fine.

You cant forget your memories, they still haunt you.
Run all you want, theres nothing you can do.

For screaming and shouting just brings back the pain.
So go line up in death's painful lane.

Stop wishing and hoping, it wont come true.
Your lifes a piece of shit in all that you do.

Now this is goodbye, I'm sorry my friend.
For this is where you're life shall end.

If a guy...

2005-12-05T03:47:00.000-08:00

...If A Guy...

Jesus Daniel Paras

(Excript/Adaptation from Memento Mori)

If a guy's eyes have been gouged out...

--- He must have seen the truth

If a guy's ears have been cut off...

--- He must have heard the truth

If a guy's tongue has been cut out...

--- He must have told the truth

If a guy's hands have been ripped off...

--- He must have touched the truth

If a guy's feet have been chopped off...

--- He must have gone near to the truth

If a guy's skin has been burned black...

--- He must have felt the truth

If a guy's brain has been sliced out...

--- He must have realized the truth

If a guy has been killed...

--- He must have been the truth.

Poison Kiss

2005-11-25T07:39:00.000-08:00

Poison Kiss
Jesus Daniel Paras

It started as a greeting kiss
and later became a friendly kiss.
Then it turned out to be a loving kiss
but ended tragically with a poison kiss.

The Bus

2005-11-25T07:31:00.000-08:00

The Bus
Jesus Daniel Paras

I stayed in a waiting shed
(waiting for a bus to come)
I wanted to go walk home
(but something pushed me not to)

Then it started to rain
(raining teardrops sliding down the roof)

Alas! I stayed in the waiting shed
(waiting for a bus to come)
I stayed in the waiting shed
(waiting for the rain to stop)

I should have walked home
(When I had the chance...)

I wish I just walked home

(I just wish I did...)

Inhumation

2005-10-27T14:40:00.000-07:00

Inhumation
Jesus Daniel Paras

Haven't you figure it out?
I am a grey tormented sky.
hiding all these crystals
from forming in my eye.

I've been chained inside
as I try to set thyself free.
Scars from the blades that passed
are buried before thee.

Inhumed all the pain inside,
Pushed it as deep as it can go;
Guess I'm a pretty good actor
And never let it show

I, bound with crass demented soul
Thou may think I am strong
But mortal, stop and think again
For I have feeble solace -- so long.

If love was only in a dream

2005-10-07T14:41:00.000-07:00

If love was only in a dream
by: Jesus Daniel R. Paras

If love was only in a dream
I wish I will never wake up
Succumb in this fantasy
As my wings began to flap

If love was only in a dream
I would hug my pillow tight
Stretch the fabrics puffed in it
and fly it like a kite.

If love was only in a dream
I wish death would visit me
And sprinkle death powder on my head
So morning, I can flee.

If love was only in a dream
I wish I never knew the dawn
Hoping the sun will never show again
So morning cannot spawn.

Sense me deep...

2005-10-04T07:58:00.000-07:00

Sense me deep...

by: Jesus Daniel Paras

Mom, Dad... Look at me?
Tell me what you see?
Is this what you want me to be?

Mom, Dad... Listen to my heart
You see that I'm unaffected
But deep inside, I am...

Mom, Dad... Hear my lonely beat.
Look beyond the face I show
and feel my hidden slits.

Mom, Dad... Taste my bitter smile
for you never knew what I needed most
and what I wanted most.

Mom, Dad... Burden I am! I know!
Each day I curse myself
For nothing I bestow!

Summer

2005-09-23T02:38:00.000-07:00

Summer

by: Jesus Daniel Paras

The snow is melting

and the white turns to green

The lust for end has ended

And the glimpse of summer is seen.

The blizzard is now a breeze

as he leads the morning day

The grass of lea dances with grace

and the trees began to sway.

The snow is melting
and the white turns to green
The lust for end has ended
And the glimpse of summer is seen.

Coffin

2005-09-14T04:58:00.000-07:00

Coffin
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

I felt so lonely
as I cry myself to sleep
I felt so lonely
as agony starts to creep

I saw my friends
circling as a crowd
they looked down
as they cry so horrid loud

They cried for the coffin
wrapped in silver paint
sealed with melancholy!
as my eyes began to faint

For I was suprised when I saw the casket
and saw my lonely face
I was the one they cried for
For I died in disgrace

I never knew I was dead!
I never knew I was dead!

Alas! I felt so lonely
as I cry myself to sleep
I felt so lonely
as agony starts to creep

Heaven and Earth

2005-09-06T12:34:00.000-07:00

Heaven and Earth
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

My heart once ablazed
From someone up above
Finding my pieces in my heart
That once was torn apart

For she had helped me find the pieces
For each she had bestowed
Giving me hugs and kisses
Wishing forever it may flow

Step by step she taught me to stand
Putting the pieces back together
As I had understand
From spring she had sowed
She colored my prosaic autumn
Then turned it into snow

After she helped me recover the pieces
She move back, sadly made a turn
As I woke up from a dream,
A dream I cannot learn

Her wings had just fallen
From the heaven down to despair
Seems she had forgotten
Our once love and lasting care

The angel just disappeared
As I rose up from bed
Teardrops fell on my face
As I look for her with no such trace

I just remembered on thing in my dream
That she is the heaven
I am the earth
We cannot be together
At most we would just hurt

Then, my fantasy started again
I saw her up crying in vain
As I was walking out the door
The angels went back to heaven
While she, rotting on the floor

I want to hold her
But she was too far apart
I shouldn't have walked on the hot coals
If I knew it would just burn my heart

Then I woke up again
Crying inside
How I wish I can forget her
As our fate just won't collide.

Then something is missing in my heart
I want to find it --
I don’t know where to start
That the pieces we had found
Seems to be missing again
As I am searching for it
Alone in misery and vain

Oh how I need another angel
To help me in this search
To complete the missing pieces
My wings just cannot urge

Ngiti, Panggap at Tanong

2005-08-30T14:15:00.000-07:00

Ngiti, Panggap at Tanong
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

Narito ako, Nariyan ka
Nakangiti, magaan ang mukha
Nakangiti ako, sabay panggap
na masaya at lahat ay tinanggap

Bakit ba ganoon?
Tadhana ba ito?
na hindi na iibig,
dahil sa mga nakalipas na yugto?

Bakit ba ganoon?
Dinadaan na lang sa tawa
Kahit na higit sa sakit
ang dama ng kaluluwa?

Bakit ba ganoon?
Hindi mo nakikita
ang mga sugat kong kay hapdi
Na nararamdaman ko tuwina.

Sana man lang makita mo.
Na minamahal kita
Na narito ako sa likod mo
Nagbabantay, Sinta

Sana man lang maramdaman mo
ang init ng yakap ko
kahit na h'wag mo nang suklian
ang pagmamahal ko sa iyo.

Oh, Huwag mo nang suklian
ang lahat ng ginagawa ko
Dahil kailanman ay hindi mo makikita
ang mga maliliit na bagay na ito.

Kung nagiging mabait ka sa akin
at inaakap mo ako
Alam kong hindi ito pag-ibig
Pagkaawa lang ito.

Totoo, Mahal kita
Ngunit may laman na ang puso mo
Huli na ako nang pumasok
Sa pag-ibig na mapanukso

Wala man ako sa loob ng puso mo,
Ito lang masasabi ko,
Bahala na nasa labas ako
Basta malapit lang ito.

His

2005-08-16T02:40:00.000-07:00

His
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

I am his reflection;
Imitate him exactly
No more, no less.

I am his deception;
Fake his emotions exactly
No more, no less.

I am his illusion;
Cover his tears exactly
No more, no less.

I am his treason;
Betrayed truth exactly
No more, no less.

I am his death
Bury his life exactly
No more, no less.

Tell Me

2005-08-15T13:53:00.000-07:00

Tell Me
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

Tell Me
What is it with you?
I don't know why you deceived me...
and keep it ghastly true
I relinquish thy breath
and gave you my word,
man, you gave me a death
Pure abhorrent wraith!
You rejuvenate my agony
and fathom each pain
You exorcise me with treachery
and played me, you insane
I had never forsaken thee
for my wings are onto you
but you burn them by your flame
in a crystalline hell of blue.
Tell me
What is it with you?
I don't know why you tricked me...
and keep it ghastly true

A World of Lamentation

2005-08-14T16:41:00.000-07:00

A World of Lamentation
By: Jesus Daniel Paras

He went home from school
by riding on a jeep
Pain he tries to keep.
But in his eyes, tears start to creep

That in his house, is a different world
A world of pain and torment:

Where pain is the land
and loneliness is the sky
Tears are the oceans
and love is just a lie...

A world of lamentation!
A world of lamentation!

There, he walked slowly
and exhausted he is!
He stepped into his house
A house with no such bliss..

Every night's the same
People screaming and yelling,
Throwing glasses and plates
As he went inside, crying.

Every night's the same
A night full of despair
He engulfs all the pain
In a house he calls "lair"

In his room, is his silent hell
Tormented by his agony:
He wanted to yell
He wanted to yell

For one night changed everything
As people are busy screaming,
He took a blade and lock the door
He slit his wrist and fell on the floor

His breathe began to fade
and sight began to dim
His hand began to numb
and blood began to stream

But instead of pain
There he first experienced peace
There he made his first and last smile
For he has found the silence he miss

His life is his
intacted with the truth
and I shared it to you
from leaves down to his roots

--"Tears is the silent language of sorrow while smile is the mask that is covering it.

My tears had dried up after they closed my coffin"...

Castle

2005-07-08T14:48:00.000-07:00

A Castle in a Graveyard
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

An elegy starts to play.
White roses began to fall.
Cold zephyr circle this fortress
from the pillars to this boulder walls.

I now sleep in this weird castle
surrounded by melancholic people.
As the moon shines its solitary ray,
they weep and wail but have nothing to say.

Then people began to leave thee
Alone, in this stone walls
They locked the only door
as the rain began to fall.

I realized this castle,
was built for me all along.
a castle inside a graveyard;
made by marble, gold and stone

Years have passed.
Yet no one came back
They have forgotten me
and buried under in these rocks!

Monster cold and ugly

2005-07-08T14:40:00.000-07:00

Monster Cold and Ugly!!
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

I am lock in this palace
wrapped in shivering agony
Must escape this maze
From a monster cold and ugly!!

I approached a fountain,
full of waterlilies
I can't escape this maze
From a monster cold and ugly!!

I looked through the water
and saw an abomination
I must escape this maze
It is the monster cold and ugly!!

I'm hiding from the mutant
and ran away from reality
Because I am the ogre in this maze
The monster cold and ugly!!

2005-05-25T12:43:00.000-07:00

Untitled

2005-05-02T10:57:00.000-07:00

Untitled
by: Jesus Daniel R. Paras

Alone, I cry behind this smile
Invisible tears started to dry;
As your love began to escape and fly
What I did is to sit down and die

It's hard for me to drip tears never shown
It's hard for me that love is just thrown
It's painful for me to step down the throne
in your heart that once I thought I owned

Agony began to lurk
and struck me deep like poison dirk
and try to endure in crucial vain
all the treachery, treason and morbid pain

I didn't expect it would end up like this
From the love I gave, was suddenly released;
and ending my life by cutting my wrist
hoping I would find the happiness I miss

~o00OO00o~

Jesus Daniel

2005-03-24T09:36:00.000-08:00

Jesus Daniel
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

I sat in a bar
Drink, and look from afar
There I saw my girlfriend went by
she didn't see me even I waved her a "hi"

But then, my world has lost its bliss
when I saw her approach another guy with a kiss
and held her hands so way up tight
walked away together until I lost them in my sight

I sat alone and drink another beer
Crying beyond this invisible tears
then I reached my gun and cut the chase
and pulled the trigger on my face

I fell from my seat
and blood starts to drool
She have deceived me
and used me like a fool

My visions turned to black from red
people screaming, "Oh my god! He's dead"
It all happened within a blink of an eye
I was deceived, used and even crucified

Today, my death is still a mystery
no one knows the truth in this scenery
For me; what I saw last night was a fantasy
and died because of deceit and treachery...

Nightwisher

2005-03-22T23:30:00.000-08:00

Nightwisher
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

I'm living in anguish
and in blood I thirst
I seek for flesh
and summoned by a curse

I am the nightwisher
wailing for dakness
lurking in anger
and living in diabolic sadness

I destroy the weak
and in pain, I lust
I slit people's wrist
turning angel wings to dust

I'll banish them all
from the light ever blue
and imprison them in hell
and in pain ever true....

Coward

2005-03-19T19:33:00.000-08:00

"Coward"
by: Jesus Daniel R. Paras

I'm afraid to show her what I feel
I'm afraid to tell her what is real
I'm simply just a coward
that my love is just concealed

It's enough for me to see her happy
It's enough for me to see her smile
As long as she's here beside me
My sadness is exiled

She brights up my day
She really doesn't know
How I wish I could say
my hidden feelings ever so

Alas, I'll keep it as a secret
That my heart creates magic
and hide it behind the stars,
of an everning ever tragic. . .

Zhi Xu

2005-03-09T14:51:00.000-08:00

Zhi Xu
by: Jesus Daniel R. Paras

Zhi Xu, Man of agony
Zhi Xu, full of misery
Zhi Xu, love and hate
Zhi Xu, for everyone's sake

Zhi Xu, Lost in darkness
Zhi Xu, Ridden in pain
Zhi Xu, illusion and madness
Zhi Xu, Fool and insane

Zhi Xu, Hidden in tears
Zhi Xu, forgotten for these years
Zhi Xu, died in fear
Zhi Xu, Life is just unclear

Zhi Xu, he is me
Zhi Xu, no one can see me
Zhi Xu, this is who I will be
Zhi Xu, Forever let it be

Hatred

2005-03-08T06:41:00.000-08:00

Hatred
By: Jesus Daniel Paras

I hate my life
Everything is wrong
Everything seems not right
As if I don't belong

I hate my world
Full of misery
Everything seems obscurd
and blended with bittersweet agony

I hate myself
Full of hurt and unmend
Full of lies and cheats
and always do pretend

I hate my soul
Full of emptiness
Spirit of discontent
and a soul of boorish sadness

Eclipse

2005-03-08T04:47:00.000-08:00

Eclipse
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

My heart was in total shine
and my heart was full
when I fell inlove with you,
my heart began to rule

Darkness moves...
Slowly towards us again
Evil swarms...
Oh, don't let your love end

Alas, the scene has clipped a tragedy
The poem has shifted to an elegy
Your love is gone, oh misery...
You have left me in dire agony...

Tears covered my heart with stones
and pain dried my blood
It was total eclipse and I'm alone
That my tears began to flood

It was total eclipse when I closed my eyes
It was day and night when I search for the sky
I've found it, but it was gray instead of blue...
without any stars to guide me too...

Enemy

2005-02-20T19:36:00.000-08:00

My Lucifer

By: Jesus Daniel Paras

Kill me... Banish me...

Freeze me... Torture me...

Bestow me with thy treachery

Hide me from your lies

Kill me with thy agony

as clouds cover the sky

Engulf me with thy naggings

and dominate all my pride

Crucify me with thy hollow boasting

as the truth you won't confide

Banish me from happiness

And fill me in your world

World of ever darkness

of ever Sweet Obscurd

Freeze me from your power

As no one hears my scream

Oh Thrust me with oblivion

As visions start to dim

Synergize with demons

Putting Hell onto Earth

Abominize me with mere treasons

not to put an end to this hurt

Alas, I pity you, My Lucifer

For putting me to flame

And torture thee forever

Thy life won't be the same

Healer

2005-02-13T19:51:00.000-08:00

Healer

by: Jesus Daniel Paras

Am I just a healer?

To mend a broken heart

To cure other's life

and to be hurt from the start?

Why do I always get hurt?

Why do I always weep?

When I risk my heart to love

and torment starts to creep...

Why did they kill me?

Kill me in vain

of Satan's Evil Heart

as I engulf all the pain

And yet, I close my poem

My journey doesn't end

They will always hurt me

Behind the smile of great Pretend

Fire

2005-02-03T02:52:00.000-08:00

Fire

by: Jesus Daniel R. Paras

In a hollow tunnel

I find no light

I can't live

I can't even fight

I kept on finding

an ever shining spark

and kept on mourning

as I search it in the dark

I fell on the ground

and bumped on the wall

I know it's over

But I began to crawl

At last, I see a light

And I stretched myself

but when I grabbed it

It all started to melt...

Blade

2005-01-28T05:22:00.000-08:00

Blade
by: Jesus Daniel R. Paras

Crystals Fall
Emotions Rise
Tomorrow can't see
Love can't suffice...

You have hurt me
and You can't see me cry
You have left me
and you can't see me die...

I tried to stop
this every wilting tears
I guess it just won't
and wounded for these years...

So I got a blade
and visions start to dim
And I slit thy wrist
and wailing ever since...

Then you came to save me
to give your last caress
But you arrived lately
and found me ever lifeless...

Why

2005-01-27T02:50:00.000-08:00

Why?
By: Jesus Daniel R. Paras

Why can't I find love?
Why can't it just stay?
To show me all its powers
Even just for a day

Why can't love just whisper
All its dying pain
Whispering me to cut the chase
From a love that I have gained

Why can't love give me?
Just a single night?
For someone just to love me
For someone to give me light

And yet for all the time I wasted
For all the love you see
Pain is what I'm living
My love has been set free

Intuitions

2005-01-26T06:25:00.000-08:00

Intuitions
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

I thought I found you
and you found me
Having me in this joyful ride
flying over the sea.

I thought you loved me
like the way I feel
telling me this and that
As if they were all real.

I thought I escaped the reign
of an everlasting vanguish
But tears remained uncease
and left me in this anguish

I thought you'll be here
In my own mortal heart
But you suddenly vanished
and left me from the start

I thought I found you
and you found me
I'm dying in this boorish love
and wounded ever thee.

Dream

2005-01-26T06:19:00.000-08:00

Dream
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

Visions combust from ash
as if they were here;
and wanted to hold it
but all remained unclear

I kept on touching
Figuring out what I feel
thinking this is something
beyond from what is real

I touched a woman's body
I touched her only heart
And fell inlove with her
But I don't know where to start

I tried to kiss her
but a sound showed me the true
And realized it was a dream
a dream of pain by loving you.

Garden of Sorrow

2005-01-21T19:50:00.000-08:00

Garden of Sorrow
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

I am now living
thy garden of sorrow
Tears cannot cease
in this blank tomorrow

Day by day I see
your every losing piece
of mortal drastic love
as you slowly bend thy knees

You left me hanging
in thy ever mournful tomb
the garden turned to something
of an ever lonely dune

You engulf all of me
every piece of my heart
and did merely nothing
but to hurt me from the start

At my back

2005-01-13T15:33:00.000-08:00

At my back
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

I feel the agony
I hear the gossips
I can feel the pain
right into your lips

I see someone
an angel ahead
ever kind and loving
in this thin love of thread

Her wings start to fall
Her "she" has vanished
She is someone else at my back
That turned my life into ever anguish

Resurrection

2005-01-06T23:59:00.000-08:00

Resurrection
by:Jesus Daniel Paras

I thought it was the end
but I have mistaken;
that I couldn't wake up
from what you have frozen

I thought I cannot seek
for someone who is real
for someone better
and someone who can feel

But I found a new life
and I found hers
We will love each other
even you see it as a curse

You left me before
and created an insurrection
But you can't go back
I'm in a second love called: Resurrection

Shadow

2005-01-06T01:29:00.000-08:00

Shadow
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

I am not who am
who you think is All
who you think is great
that I woudn't Fall

Living for your love
Living for the true
Giving up everything
and anything for you...

I cast a figure
of an ever angelic slave
and sacrificed my soul
for the eternal cherub's glaive

You truly do not see me
But I am really here
Being just a shadow
of my own hidden tears...

Heaven

2005-01-06T01:23:00.000-08:00

Heaven
by:Jesus Daniel Paras

As morning shines,
I left the gates of heaven
to be with my immortal love
and consider it unforgiven

I saw her from a distance
I saw her from behind
She slowly vanished
and nothing I can find

I flapped thy wings
and try to catch her
but it was too late
that I began to suffer

I went back at the gates
but a voice starts to glare
I turned back to see it
But nothing was really there...

Night

2005-01-04T06:52:00.000-08:00

Night
by: Jesus Daniel Paras

I tried to shine
but I am chained
I tried to be free
but misery I attained

I tried to be brillant
in this glimmering white crystal
But I stayed as a Night
and remain as Dark eternal

The nocturnal wind swifts
as it devours me rapidly
I hold on tight
as tears flow down slowly

Oh but no one ever asked
"Who had ever imprisoned me?"
Do you want to know?
It was my true love ever thee

Silence

2004-12-31T13:08:00.000-08:00

Silence
By: Jesus Daniel Paras

I kept my quiescence
I hide the pain
I bring silence
from a love that I have gained

Mesmerize by your beauty
from what you have born
Poisoned by treachery
in the black chamber of thorns

I bend my knees
I bow my head
I gave up everything
In my love horrid dead

I devoured the pain
As you kill me slowly
I try to fight
Alas, I just love you truly

Slit

2004-12-19T04:41:00.000-08:00

By: Jesus Daniel Paras

I don't know if I can wake up
I don't know if I am breathing
I suddenly stop
From a life ever mourning

On this season
I never felt ever so betrayed
Locked from my treason
From a light of my ever wicked day

I slit my wrist
I fell on the floor
I know it's over
I closed the door

No one's here to hold my wrist
No one's here to see me cry
No one's here to take the risk
Or even here just to see me die...

Angel of Life

2004-12-18T07:12:00.000-08:00

Hail the Angel of Life
Prosaic Leaf mesmerize
Life shrivels the vivid dance
Dire hides hollow nuisance
I am the past; of the Brightest Age
It is time to lead me to my eternal slumber
Clairvoyance of Rest; would I woke up? Never...

Angel of Mercy

2004-12-07T15:47:00.000-08:00

Hail Tempest of Mercy
The Fall of my Life's Prosaic
Ruins combust to reality
The lust of light fades barbaric
Am I the tightest chain of the Darkest Age?
Am I the coldest bars from Insurrection?
Unfoze me! Free me from my eternal Illusion!

Angel of Death

2004-12-05T13:01:00.000-08:00

Hail the Angel of Death
Holy Corpse spotaneously combust
Untamed soul walks the earth
Spirit ruwaches; Hell
I am the next link of the Darkest Age
It is time to wake me up from my deepest Sleep. . .

2004-11-17T02:10:00.002-08:00

Sunflower

2004-11-17T02:10:00.001-08:00

Lavender

2004-11-17T02:10:00.000-08:00

Kapatagan Hills, Digos City

2004-11-07T05:59:00.000-08:00

Jesus Daniel Paras tries to be a Coach and Photographer at the same time. . .

2004-11-07T05:56:00.000-08:00

Cheska, My Pussycat~!! Meow

2004-11-07T05:54:00.000-08:00

Burned Log sleeps on the crystal sand of Samal Resort

2004-11-07T05:52:00.000-08:00

Sunset in Kaputian Resort of Island Garden City of Samal, Davao City

2004-11-07T05:51:00.000-08:00

My Teddy Bear

2004-11-07T05:49:00.001-08:00

Little Girl glares at me while I give her a nice shot

2004-11-07T05:49:00.000-08:00

Sampaguita

2004-11-07T05:48:00.000-08:00

Kaputian Resort. a unique angle on the boat's balancing log

2004-11-07T05:47:00.000-08:00

This is a plant in our land in Samal Island. . .

2004-11-07T05:46:00.000-08:00

I dunno what kind`a flower is this but what the heck? I just captured it

2004-11-07T05:45:00.000-08:00

Starfish on Bamboo Deck. . . All pictures and articles are made by me. . . hehehe

Poetry

2004-11-06T10:53:00.000-08:00

Isolated

Kept from this world
Lost in a dirge
Bars of anger;
No one can urge

The misery,
will never be frozen
Cannot escape mockery
Cannot touch heaven

They bestowed me needles
While I handed them threads
Trying to sew the sorrow
of a life like ever wicked dead

Isolated...
Hidden in the manteau of misery
Wounded...
Reveal that ever lasting agony

Poetry

2004-11-03T03:06:00.000-08:00

What You Are

You are the angel of my hell
The light of my darkness
The life of my shrivel
The smile of my loneliness

You are the dirge of my music box
Crystals of my tears
The Wailing of my fox
The shivering of my fears

You are the Blade of my sword
The bruises of my fight
The traitor of my Lord
You are the sharpness of Death's Scythe !!

Fantasy

Take my Hand
Let's start to fly
Escape this ancient land
As we stop our mournful cry

As I flap my wings
Hold on very tight
As the angels start to sing
Until we'll be out of sight

At last we reached Heaven
Where there will be eternal melody
Then I fell down from my bed
Awakening from that ever fictious elegy.

Death

2004-10-25T04:28:00.000-07:00

Death

Death? It is just another pilgrimage in life that one is going to take another huge stone step in one's life... It is one of the hardest part of life and the most painful one.

Death is not the end, There is a thing we called after life or reincarnation,

In the after life, we remember everything in our past life and forever in this place we called Paradise we will live...

but in Reincarnation, it is painful because you will lose your life lincluding all of your memory from your past life....you will never know who you were before and what kind of life you were having...

...Imagine, What is the feeling of being dead, like just a
substance floating in somewhere feeling mournful.
Being dead forever, and you will lose all of your
loved ones, Everyone of them... Imagine.
For me? I stopped imagining because
I always cry whenever I imagine it
Becoz, I love each one of them
Love all your loved ones
Before you wake up
and realized
you are
already
DEAD
...
.

Failure

2004-10-22T20:16:00.000-07:00

Failure

Failure is not the things you have not overcome...

Failure is not the things that you have not achieved...

Failure is not the ability to lack succeed...

Failure is the ability not to face your hardship in life

Failure is the ability of giving up even though you didn't try it yet..

Failure is being coward not facing the reality of life

Failure is being stupid hiding from the bright side.

Hiding in the light and not facing the plague of Gaea's Paradise

This is the real meaning of Failure

Success

2004-10-22T20:03:00.000-07:00

Success

Your successful triumph in life is not the real acquisition in life

The real success in life are the hardships, obstacles and problems that you tried to overcome

The effort you put just to do and cross all the hardships

and Went through all the barriers in life.

Eclat is the ability to be invulnerable, strong and mighty in the time of rain.

You stayed firm until the storm stops

That is the real meaning of Success

Love Story

2004-10-21T16:37:00.000-07:00

The Twelve Roses

The woman wailed in pain as she looks at her boyfriend kissing his ex-girlfriend in a restaurant that cold rainy night. As her boyfriend looks at the window, He saw her crying as she watches the two of them kissing together...

Man: Hone! I-i-i-can explain please it's not what you think of... hone talk to me

Woman: How dare you do this to me! (The Woman ran and went to their favorite spot (which is in the heart of the park where there is a pond)

The man chased her girlfriend and tried to follow her... Then as he crosses down the street, Two white lights moving towards him very fast... Then all turned white...

In the park, The woman cried as she looks at the salmon swim. Then she remembered:
She and her boyfriend are in the park during their first date.

Woman: How do you love me hone?

Man: I will love you until the last one rose in this place dies

Then she heard a huge commotion over the park's brick walls... She stood up and take a look on what the commotion is all about. Then she saw her boyfriend in full of blood and the ambulance are rushing moving the crowd just to give the nurses a way to bring her boyfriend to the hospital... "Oh my God, He was hit by that drunken driver again!" A witness shouted... Then the police invited the witness to the station for an investigation while the woman went inside the ambulance holding her boyfriend's hand... Then the ambulance haste to the hospital...

Woman: Don't leave me hone please... I love you very much you cannot do this to me!

Then she noticed a paper slipped into his pocket. She reached it out and read it. It says:

Dear Michelle,

All this months I never lied to you and I keep myself loyal and true to you... I want the two us to get married this February... I really love you hone. P.S. I only lied and tricked you once.... It is when I said to you "I will love you 'till the last rose in the garden dies". Take a look at the park where I planted the 12 Roses... I planted 11 Real Roses while I the last rose is a fake one so I just punched the plastic rose into the garden of roses... I did that so that the last rose won't die as my love to you would never end... I LOVE YOU HONE...

Love,
Joseph.

Michelle cried out in pain, and they reached the hospital she gave way to the nurses and Joseph was brought in the E.R. She hasn't gone inside because of the Hospital Policy...She just waited for 3 hours outside. Then Joseph's ex-girl friend rushed into the hallway.

Ex-Girlfriend: Joseph! Joseph! Oh my God...What happened to you Joseph

Michelle: Stop it! I saw the two of you kissing just 7hours ago at the restaurant how dare you two trick me like this...You all treated me like a fool!

Ex-Girlfriend: Kiss? He didn't kiss me and For your information, I was calling him so that I could ask advice for my boyfriend's relationship... And that kiss? He didn't kiss me. My eye was poked by some sort of particle so he blew my eye to relieve the pain.

Michelle misjudge all of what happened that night and then the doctor came out of the E.R. and he said that Joseph lost alot of blood and he died. Michelle felt guilty because for her, it was her fault why he followed her...Then she ran outside and went to the park... There she saw all the roses wilt and die but one of the roses is still standing, The Plastic Rose...

THE END

A Scene from my Dream

2004-10-21T15:36:00.000-07:00

The Rose

I started to dream of a White Desert, Snow of misery and trepidation.Underneath the endless burdens; I saw the woman of captivation.I tried to approach Her, then she begin to fall.She fell in the bed of misery and from her; gave it all.She wailed as She let go of my shoulder"Wait me a thousand Sunrise", She said it to me in full-shiver."After 1000 Sunrise; I'll live again" She speaked again.She closed her eyes.

Then I carried Her corpse.I buried her in the garden and followed her last dying wish.So I waited day by day, Counting the sunrise. Sitting on the place I buried her;Waiting She would arise. I don't know now How many days have passed.

I fell asleep lying on her tomb,Thinking if I would last.Then I notice something; Growing on her tomb...A Sprouting Rosebud Growing Fast Then I realized it is now a thousand sunrise...

Reminder

2004-10-21T05:20:00.000-07:00

Warning: Military Software detected.Top Secret Clearance Require (Joke lang hehehe)

Anyway, On the lower left in my website you can see the Posts, Archives and About Me.... There is a new Tagboard there...

Well...What is a tag board? A Tag Board is just like a smaller version of Chat Room...If you wanna leave a message or chat with the ones visiting in my website simultaneously. Chat lang kayo diyan o kaya ako ang kachat nyo whenever malay natin sabay natin i-view aking website

Thought for The Day

2004-10-21T03:10:00.000-07:00

The more you study, The more you learn

The more you learn, the more you forget

The more you forget, the lesser you know

so Why Study???

A Scene from my Dream

2004-10-19T07:45:00.000-07:00

Shiver, The Snow chases you in your dreams...Glaciers melt your wonderful scenes, Suddenly The Snow Queen begin to perish. The Frozen Tundra had become a colorful glade. The Crystalline Caves melted into jungle denizens. The Snow Queen died because somebody, someone had summoned a fire and ablazed my frozen life... Then she came with a torch and brought warmth to my life. She is my queen, Queen of Everlasting love wearing a diadem engraving the letters "E-T-E-R-N-I-T-Y"...

Poetry

2004-10-19T07:35:00.000-07:00

Well here are my poems...Made them by myself ^_^

Frozen Love

You were just like other girls
I thought we are just friends
Nothing else did I think of you
That won’t let my heart unbend
When I recall memories
That would always make me cry
I guess I have to forget my first love
And give love another try
Now I am in your arms
Sleeping sweet and sound
I wish I may not wake up
In this true love I have found
And yet things have come
That we didn’t expect
Now the dream has vanished
Forever I shall regret

THE CANDLE

The curtains shutter;
Frozen windows vanquish
The truth clutters
of my evening's anguish

The light vanished
the stopping of tears
My tomorrow perished
From the soliloquy of fears

The candle of agony
has put to and end
Hidden in the reliquary
the Reliquary of Pretend

Eternity is nothing
but a mere illusion
She just cannot bring
even a rejuvenated dilution

Now the candle has melted
from its wax of solitude
the zephyr froze the white crescent
ended the night of everlasting rouge

A GLIMPSE FROM A PAST

I am standing here alone
Yearning you would come back
The rain won't stop;
the sky turned black

Why did you vanish?
Left nothing but pain and anguish
The rain turned to frozen snow
because of the pain you had bestowed

Then came a blank tomorrow
The girl I love walked away
Living in numb and sorrow
I am being locked from this day

Today is reality
Yesterday is a painful memory
It was just a glimpse from my past
Affecting my future seem so vast

THE GROWING LOVE

FRIENDS
The first thing I want us to be

BESTFRIENDS
What I think we should more be

INFATUATION
A Feeling of love;red sprouting seed

SMITTEN
Is there really fate indeed

LOVE
Unexpected feeling I now plead

HURT
The part where I have to bleed

Definition of Love

2004-10-19T01:26:00.000-07:00

Now, Love?

DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT IS LOVE?

Love is just a special thing that you often feel for a special person
Often times? You will do anything for that person and risk almost Anything
Villains often come the way to seperate the two of you but in the
End, You will know that Love conquers everthing